


the bad habits you couldn't bear to keep

by smallredboy



Category: House M.D.
Genre: F/F, Pining, Post-Episode: s05e09 Last Resort, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-02 01:15:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17878292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallredboy/pseuds/smallredboy
Summary: Cuddy visits Thirteen while she's on temporary dialysis.





	the bad habits you couldn't bear to keep

**Author's Note:**

> for femslashficlets' janelle monae prompt table; the one i filled in this is "but i need to know if the world says it's time to go".
> 
> title from _i'm like a lawyer with the way i'm always trying to get you off_ by fall out boy
> 
> enjoy!

Cuddy can’t believe this has happened.

Well, that’s not too true— House got shot in the hospital two years ago or so, it’s all fine, it’s okay, but she can’t believe this could’ve happened. She can’t believe Thirteen right now is in the hospital, getting temporary dialysis because she was self destructive enough to take something that she knew would make her kidneys fail. Her recklessness is so attractive as it is irritating, as mad as it makes her with House, it makes her even madder with her.

She might not know Thirteen for as long or as well, but it’s much stronger with her. She’s pretty and young and she has Huntington’s, and God, she won’t function in a decade’s time. The thought makes her heart sink far, makes her want to protect her at all costs. She knows there’s no way she could save her of her illness but goddammit, she hopes and she wants.

She gets to her room and doubts. Watches as she stares dejectedly at the wall, her eyes empty of life, the machines whirring. 

She opens the door and walks in, looking at her, biting her lip.

“Dr. Hadley,” Cuddy says, stepping closer.

She turns to her, and the vaguest semblance of a smile forms in her lips.

“Oh, I don’t think we need that much formality now, Cuddy,” she says. “Thirteen’s fine. Remy’s fine, too, but I’m used to everyone calling me Thirteen by now."

She hides behind formality, the guise of calling everyone Dr. and pretend they’re not close to her in any way, shape or form. She says Dr. Cameron whenever she has to talk to her, and Cameron has the exact same response every time—  _ Allison is fine, Cuddy _ . But she doesn’t. Because she doesn’t like admitting how close she is to her employees.

She draws in a breath. “Okay. Thirteen. How… are you feeling?”   
  
Thirteen shrugs and looks up. “A little better.”   


“I’m glad.” She puts a hand on her arm, soft, an attempt at closeness. Thirteen uses her other hand and holds hers. Cuddy’s breath catches in her throat, and she stares, and Thirteen stares back, relentless, like always.

Relentless is a good way to describe Dr. Remy Hadley.

Cuddy squeezes her hand and pulls back.

“Do you… wanna go out for some drinks after my kidneys are all better?”   
  
She looks at her, a bit alarmed, her head having gone elsewhere. Elsewhere being Thirteen’s eyes, and her lips, and God, she’s in deep, and she _ can’t do this _ .

“You’re not touching alcohol in a long while,” she says as sternly as she can.

Thirteen breaks out into a grin. “Okay.”   
  
She sighs and sits down, the chair for family utterly empty before her. She doesn’t think anyone's sat here while Thirteen’s been here. Her heart aches for her, in a hyper-empathy she knows well.

“You need to stop being self-destructive.”   
  
“It’s ten years,” Thirteen says. “I have ten years, and I’m going to spend them well.”   
  
“I didn’t think being in a hostage situation was in your bucket list.”

Her face falls a little.

“It wasn’t,” she admits.

Cuddy holds her hand. Squeezes.

Thirteen looks up at her, eyes relentlessly searching for Cuddy’s. For something more, something else— she doesn’t know.

“Thank you for coming,” Thirteen says.

“It’s no problem at all.” She pauses. She knows she shouldn’t be doing this, shouldn’t be considering it, but she knows Thirteen won’t feel coerced— at least she hopes she doesn’t— and she wants to touch her oh so badly. “Do you want to go out for coffee when you’re better?”   


Thirteen bites her bottom lip, smiles at her.

“Of course.”   


There’s an unspoken conversation about Thirteen’s relentless self-destruction and Thirteen’s nonexistent death wish, and Cuddy doesn’t press and doesn’t push. She looks pretty, and she’s House’s employee, and she’s House’s employer. Little can come well from this all, but Cuddy will take the time she has with Thirteen.

Even if that time isn’t near enough.


End file.
